I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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