I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sober January is a disaster.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
