i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
