Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
