I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
