Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize