jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
