Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
