Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
