six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize