Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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