I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I need moral support for this bender
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
