True but thats because hes a fetus.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize