It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
sex in a hospital.. check
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize