She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
