Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
