do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
