spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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