dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
