can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
