We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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