bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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