Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
