I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
