Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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