if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
