I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
