I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize