But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
