Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize