There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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