it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
