I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
