oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
