Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
