Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
