return my video game
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
