I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
handjob tips. give me some.
im holly from the hills drunk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have aggressive nipples.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
