He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
