One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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