so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
