wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
