I intend to get homeless drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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