If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
