One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
there was a trapeze. enough said
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Randomize