Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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