You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Randomize
