If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
