its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
