She is in my trunk
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
