you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We're not piercing ourselves today.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize