Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
