I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
