I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
