What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
