I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
