Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
