fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
