Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
