the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
